Parenting, School

What sorcery is this?

Daily while school is in session, it is always mass chaos, or so it seems. Murphy’s Law is the unofficial motto. No matter the amount of night before prep (or, not, since I’m being completely honest). It was always a chorus of “I don’t feel well”, “Where’s my ___________?”, “I have homework due first thing” (usually following insisting there was none the previous night), and many more. Nine times out of ten when I attempt to rouse them from their slumber, I get their rendition of a 21-gun salute: they roll over and unleash a slew of farts. They call me names, and on particularly lovely mornings, throw half-hearted swings at me. Good times, I tell you.

Then, there was this morning. I noticed Ryli was stirring on my way to the bathroom, so I stopped to murmur some sweet nothings to her. She broke into an enormous grin and opened her eyes. I was flabbergasted.

She told me to wait for her to make her bed up. Ryli has never made her own bed, let alone volunteered to do so. Then, she followed me to the bathroom to brush her teeth and asked if she could wash her face and use some moisturizer. WTF? Who are you, and what did you do with my daughter?

Washing faces was a blast. She did whatever I did, up to and including using the Brandless toner (its green apple scented). As she rubbed the cotton ball across her face, she solemnly looked at the bottle and proposed marriage. It was absolutely adorable. Then, we moisturized before she scampered to her room to play while her uniform finished drying.

By now, I’m thinking that I better just get it over with and wake up Landry. He started off playfully sluggish, muttering about not wanting to go to school, claiming a headache. So, I told him that Connor was thinking that if he and Ryli went to school every day and a few other things that he was working on, he was going to give them his XBox. Boy oh boy, did that ever change his tune. He was dressed all by himself in record time.

The lone hiccup was miniscule. After swearing the night before that he had no homework, Landry promptly pulled out a four page spread from his workbook, and Ms. Doshi was giving out candy for those who had it done. So I grabbed him a pencil and clipboard, and told him I would help him on the way to school. I just needed to do his hair first. That, he did balk out, insisting that he be the one to do it. Mr. Messy Hair, Don’t Care. So I let him, and surprisingly enough, it looked damn good. I’m talking the part looked like it was made with clippers.

With everyone in the van, we pushed off for school. Ryli helped Landry with his math homework, so we only had a few problems to finish off while we waited for the doors to be opened.

I drove back home shocked. They got up without a fuss, they got ready with ease and grace. I was positive they’d been body snatched.

Flash forward to school letting out. They were back and totally normal; alternating between at each other’s throat and the best of friends. Ahhh, motherhood; never a dull moment.

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This was originally written on Wednesday… I thought I had scheduled it, when apparently, I hadn’t. 

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