Scheduling, Uncategorized

Friday the 13th… teeheehee

Thankfully, the little ones don’t buy into the superstition yet, since they’re testing again today. We’re down to the last six weeks of the school year. In the next few weeks, we will hear back as to whether or not they get their transfers to a different elementary school for next year. Hopefully, my poor crossed everything don’t fall off while I wait.

Nicole and I have already started to plan for them transferring, since she will be taking them to and from until I get a vehicle. That means dry runs starting in August, just to figure out the timing of everything. The kids have already been warned that they will still have to get up early; potentially even earlier than they get up now, as Nicole has to be there as well. They’re good with that, though, at least in theory. We shall see, we shall see.

This weekend should be interesting. When they drift off to sleep tonight, all the tablets and Ryli’s phone will vanish. In all likelihood, so will the 20+ Baby Alives and all the Littlest Pet Shop figures. I’m going to be nice and let them sleep in, but once they get up, they have to start work on their room, whether they like it or not. They get enough done, I’ll return some of their toys and tech until they drift off to sleep yet again. Then, I’ll repeat the process. I will help, don’t get me wrong, but gone are the days where I am the one to clean up their room. They just demolish it again.

Other than that, we’ll just relax and do laundry… after we sort through the clothes that either don’t fit or just never get worn. It should be a satisfying weekend, once we get through it!



February, Loss, Memories, Parenting, Uncategorized

My recurring Groundhog Day

Eighteen years ago, my hellish week was coming to its sad, inevitable end. unfortunately, it happened to be on a date that recurs every year, like clockwork.

The week started at my doctor’s appointment to be put on antidepressants. Being a military wife, the only thing that was holding up my prescription was a urinalysis, just to double-check that I wasn’t pregnant. We’d been careful, when we even had the time and energy to get frisky, which wasn’t often. I thought it was a waste of a cup.

I left that appointment with yet another appointment for an orientation back at the naval hospital, news for my husband, and no prescription for antidepressants. I went in and told him that I’d passed my whiz quiz, or something along those lines, trying to make it easier to break the news. I ended up having to explain that the doctor wanted to verify that I wasn’t pregnant, and it turned out I was. Connor was a little less than two months shy of his first birthday; Dacey was a little better than six months away from her third birthday. My estimated due date was September 10, 1999, six days before my twenty-fourth birthday.

Mike’s grandfather got sick around that time, and he put in for emergency leave to go back to Alabama, as the prognosis was not good. He opted not to go to orientation with me at the hospital, afraid that it would impact his chances of getting his leave granted. I went to that appointment, one of the only wives there without her husband. It was hospital and OB protocols first, then labs, then they would schedule our first appointment.

I went into a stall to give them another sample. I left that stall in tears and shaking, clinging to the capped cup as I found one of the nurses and told her about the pink and brown with a bit of red that I had seen moments before. I got to see a doctor that day. He put me on bed rest and said that it was a waiting game. At this stage, it was a 50-50 chance that I was going to lose the baby. The baby that a couple of days prior, I wasn’t even sure I wanted. They drew blood, and wanted me back in a couple of days.

I went home and told Mike. He didn’t tell command, who would have given him a few days off work so I could truly do bed rest. Instead, I told my neighbor, who checked in on me, changed diapers, and made fast food runs so I could rest. Despite having a two-year old and a newborn. Mike came home from the shop that evening and said that he needed to load up the car, as his leave had been approved. I still had my upcoming doctor’s appointment and bed rest, so I gave him the option of taking Dacey and Connor and going to Alabama without me. They were gone within the hour.

Jenn, my neighbor, got me to my doctor’s appointment. I had an ultrasound, and I saw my baby. I also saw that it had a double-digit heart rate; not something that you want to see with a pregnancy. My HcG also was not doubling. The doctor told me it was a waiting game, but the miscarriage was inevitable. I was given a ton of things to be on the look out for, what to do in various situations, and had a follow-up in a week.

Jenn  was great over the next day or two. I slept all day, and then went over to her house when her husband left. Jenn told me I was really pale when I first got there. I say on the couch with her older son and looked at books with him, until I got a phone call over there from Mike, all the way in Alabama. He needed me to call Tricare, as Connor had managed to try to grab a pilot light on one of the heating units and had burned a finger. So, I made the call, returned his, and ran to the bathroom.

The pregnancy was irrevocably over after that little trip. Per the doctor’s instructions, I fished what had passed out of the bowl, called out for a baggy, and cried. Jenn once again got me a ride, this time to the ER, because I was bleeding more than I should have been. I went, carrying my would-have-been baby in a sandwich bag in a plain paper bag.

Amazingly, I was called back rather quickly. Being that it was a military hospital, the doc sorely lacked a very good bedside manner for someone in my shoes. He confirmed that I had lost the baby, and told me what to look out for. Twelve hours later, I was back at the ER, bleeding like a stuck pig.

The doctor I got that trip had a better bedside manner, but he still scared the mess out of me as I put my legs into the stirrups and said to the nurse “She needs help, now”. The rest of that visit was a blur. I just know I left with a prescription that had to be taken every four hours, like clockwork, to get the bleeding to stop. Once again, Jenn to the rescue. She got me into my place, let herself out with my keys, and came back every 4 hours, waking me up with a pill and a glass of water. She also got my mom’s number off my TracPhone and called her. I woke up for the day to Jenn giving me my meds and telling me that my mom was on her way.

Mom came down, and took me to my last OB appointment at the naval hospital. It was confirmed by ultrasound, the baby and all were gone, and the bleeding had finally subsided. I left with a prescription for Iron. Mom took me up to Raleigh and put me on a plane to fly down to my family.

That was as long as you were physically around. I still wonder about you. I still think “what if” because the loss of you set so many wheels in motion. By the end of 1999, your dad and I had separated (he “meet someone” on Yahoo Chat while he was in Alabama and I was bleeding alone in North Carolina). I moved to Durham, to live with your grandma, brother, and sister. Your dad went absent without leave in order to be with the chick from online. I was broken inside, and I stayed that way for a long time.

If you were here, no matter what, you’d be getting ready to turn 18, my guess about a week and a half before I turn 43. I think that you would have been a girl. I’m going to go curl up with your sick little sister, and maybe I will dream of what you could have been.



31 Day Challenge, Challenges, Goodreads, Uncategorized

Goodreads Reading Challenge 2018

Happy New Year’s! I went ahead and signed up this morning. After some consideration of having to read a partial number a month, I threw caution to the wind and changed my pledge from 75 books to 84. Now, I only have to read seven books cover to cover a month. Considering I read the bulk of my 50 for 2017 in the last two and a half months of the year, I think I have this one well in the bag.

I’ve also decided to do the Read-Aloud Revival with the kids this month. They each have to read to someone or something for ten minutes 25 out of the 31 days of the month. Ryli will be all over that, as we got the illustrated Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. She reads to me for ten minutes, then I’ll read to her until she’s ready for bed. Landry may be a bit more of a challenge, as he’s still figuring out the ropes at reading. Nothing a bit of Pete the Cat won’t fix, with a side of Dr. Seuss.

So, now we have a few reading goals to start the year off right. Landry is going to be like Ryli; slow to get started, but once he gets started, I suspect I’ll have another bookworm on my hands.



Quiet because I’m up to something…

So, it’s been awhile, and I apologize for that. I have been plotting, planning, organizing, sorting, purging, and running around like a chicken with my head cut off for what feels like an age. Finally, however, it would appear that things are getting to a point where things will be able to settle down and just flow. I’m not out of my mind, it will never be smooth sailing; there are too many moving parts with offspring involved. I am rather happy, however, with the set up that I’ve almost totally gotten going here.

I have been gone for the most part since mid-October, and I’m trying not to hate myself for it. It’s not that there hasn’t been things to write about; I’ve just been that out of sorts. There have been many, many things to tend to as far as the new school year; meetings for committees, meetings with staff to make sure that the kids both have good years, appointments for all, the Girl Scout Troop, getting my feet wet volunteering at the school, and just so much more.

As 2017 winds down, I will post about what all has changed or will be changing as we all kick it to the curb and welcome in 2018. So, just be aware, I will be back more and more.




Busy bee

I have a ton of pictures and tales from the fair Friday; I haven’t forgotten. Between assembling bookcases, going through clothes that no longer fit, prepping for our first “real” Girl Scout meeting tonight, and finding a way to a committee meeting I didn’t realize wasn’t at the kids’ school, along with several other matters demanding my attention, my dance card has been full. Hell, at this very moment, I’m posting from my phone whilst getting my tail to the previously mentioned meeting. I HATE posting from my phone. I should get on my computer either tonight or first thing in the morning, and I will post.



The fair happened today, and I am beat. Tomorrow, I will post some (silly) pictures and hit the highlight reel. Ryli and Landry were so worn out and excited from everything, getting them to bed was semi-awful, however I can now report they are down for the night. I won’t be far behind them.

Until tomorrow, Big Tex will keep you company.


OOPS! (Well, this IS embarrassing)

Almost to the point of ridiculous, actually. I started the month off with the best of intentions, and they seemed to instantaneously fizzle and flop. Life does that sometimes, I suppose.

It isn’t like I’m sitting back watching soap operas or anything like that. Landry had his tubes. The week before, they ended up scheduling him for a last-minute pre-op evaluation. He passed that with flying colors, however, we were partially jinxed by the PA saying that both of his ears looked great. He was at the weekend clinic less than 36 hours later with his second ear infection in under a month. Yeah for getting a prescription filled when it was written on a Saturday night and you have no car. We got it done, and as of Monday, Landry has tubes again.

Girl Scouts was on the third. I was scared that Ryli would be the only one there, as the fliers never were sent home with the students. Within a few minutes of the appointed hour, four other girls and their respective adults were there with us, and our brand new troop was officially born. As of this morning at the bus stop, it would appear that we have grown by two and I got myself a co-leader in my trusty teacher bestie, Nicole.

The sixth was an epic failure in babysitting arrangements for a committee meeting that I had at the school. First and second string sitters both fell through due to circumstances beyond their control. Third string was deployed with Ryli going over to a friend’s (and later having her first sleep over that wasn’t with Dacey). Fourth string was also activated with a set of ear buds, an Amazon Prime video purchase, my laptop, and eats from Racetrac for Landry. He sat through a three-hour meeting as well as any of the adults in the room. Added benefit was that his teacher and the principal were also in attendance, and his teacher brought him up some worksheets and PlayDoh to bolster mama’s bag of tricks.

Yesterday, my counselor and I decided that I was ready to drop back to every other week meetings. I got pulled into speak with Ryli’s counselor, and she’s doing well enough that after the next appointment, she will no longer go to counseling. Now, all that remains is to figure out what to do with Landry, who still needs the counseling, but also needs to go to tutoring, which is only available on Wednesday. So, for now, he will meet with his counselor at school until some other time slot opens up.

Connor started working, and so far, he likes it, so long as I make him some coffee beforehand. The little ones miss him something awful on the weekends they see their father, though. They leave before Connor wakes up in the morning (he closes, so he sleeps in), and by the time I pick them up at 6:00, his shift has already started. Last Sunday was awful, as Ryli refused to go to sleep until she saw him. Luckily, he didn’t close, and no one was hurt when she ran to the door and tackled him.

Tonight I get the lovely double whammy of conferences for the first 6 weeks of school and a last-minute meeting of the other committee I’m on. Then, to Target to grab bookshelves, then have a slumber party of sorts before going to the Texas State Fair tomorrow. After nearly ten years in Texas, I am finally going. Ryli went with her class last year while we were in the shelter, but it will be the first time for Landry and I. Then, things should calm down considerably. (famous last words, I know)

So, all goes well, I will pepper the weekend with a few posts in between projects. Maybe there will even be State Fair pictures! Until then, I WILL be back! And to give you the pre-Halloween creeps, I will actually have a plan (or some semblance of one). So, seriously, stay tuned!